I wish I could control my way of thinking while I sleep so my dreams don’t take over my thoughts once again.
I woke up crying again and missing you even more Nino.
You were back in Cali, but I couldn’t find you and was told you were working not to far from where I was. In reality I knew you were gone, no longer with us. So why did they tell me this? Was it to hurt me more or did they really believe what they said to be true?
I somehow realize it was meant to be very hurtful and I was to blame.
I did everything I could to keep you happy and as painless as possible. After all you were (are) my hero. It was my turn to save you the best way I knew how, with love & comfort.
No matter where my heart was, I was still the one to blame for something I’ll never know.